Saturday, August 01, 2009

A Short Guide to Comparative Religions

TAOISM: Shit happens.

BUDDHISM: If shit happens, it's not really shit.

ISLAM: If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.

PROTESTANTISM: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

JUDAISM: Why does this shit always happen to us?

HINDUISM: This shit happened before.

CATHOLICISM: Shit happens because you're bad.

HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens rama rama.

T.V. EVANGELISM: Send more shit.

ATHEISM: No shit.

JEHOVAH'S WITNESS: Knock knock, shit happens.

HEDONISM: There's nothing like a good shit happening.

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: Shit happens in your mind.

AGNOSTICISM: Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.

EXISTENTIALISM: What is shit anyway?

STOICISM: This shit doesn't bother me.

RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this shit.

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